56.

even though i feel fine about what's happened
it doesn't make it any more pleasant
to have someone hate your guts
and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
and what's worse,
i never got to thank you.
i guess i never will.

55.

only when the world
comes into to me
do the genes come to life.



?

54.

peanut butter brains:
conscious thought is so difficult when your thoughts are too difficult to handle in conscious thought so it goes to subconscious thought. i get so spacey and just zone out so my subconscious can work.
almost frustrating.
but i know when i'm done i'll have some good material to work with.
figuring out free will better be worth it,
because my english and concentration is GARBAGE.

53.

[don't worry, dear. its not blood.]




pulse
pulse
pulse
pulse
pulsepulsepulsepulse [wait. hover.]
pulse pulse pulse pulse
bass puuuuuulse drums -wait-
pulse
pulse
pulse
pulse
pulsepulsepulsepulse [wait. recover.]
pulse pulse pulse pulse
bass puuuuuulse drums -stop-

52.

[GENETIC CANNIBALISM]


did you know that you share 60%
of your genetic make up with a banana?
so technically, on a genetic level,
we are 60% banana.
and the even bigger mind fuck:
we EAT bananas.
so when we are eating a banana
60% of that banana
[genetically]
is us.
That's genetic cannibalism
if I ever saw it.

wtf?!?!

51.

[paranoia]


generate eradicate investigate
religion
so close to god that the blinding lights
have melted and sealed your fate with wax
it is the inevitable
it is the horror of the ignorant blood of man
we only know as much as we let ourselves
see.

50.

I'm sorry to say
I had a feeling this would happen.
Its just unfortunate that it happened now,
just as everything in me has come to a balance,
your world has fallen apart
and you are no longer here to listen to my appreciation.
you helped me a lot more
than you realize you have
and I'm sorry you left before I could say
thank you.

49.

[sploosh!]


the world is an excellent source of beauty
as the sun bounces off the droplets
i envy the world.

[sooorry]

sorry i've been m.i.a. for a week.
i sincerely have been taking pictures and stuff,
i've just been crazy busy so posting has become less frequent.
i'll post make ups shortly.

48.

i love it when he smiles.

47.

the crying trees know
the earth will someday die from
suffocating gas

46.

pleasant breaths brush against soft hands
fingers lacing like corsets,
supporting these vulnerable moments of trust
this is where the heart knows itself
where the skies of no forgiveness
retreat into their clouds to weep
so no thunder nor lightning may taint
these slow embraces and curling shadows
so the exhale may understand liberation
and the waxing and waning of the moon will illuminate
on these dark, sickly nights.

45.

sorry i've been m.i.a. for a bit.
i have been taking pictures, i just haven't posted them.

i never knew what life was
it was something so distant and quiet
never showing it's silhouette to the light
something kept hushed, like a dark family secret
that no child's ears should ever hear
until they're older.
but curiosity evades ignorance
and no rope of fear shall ever hold back the truth
it shall progress fervently,
clawing at the locks until the fingers bleed
wailing and moaning promises of justice
until the levees break.

44. [makeup]

i realized i got one day off somewhere along the way. so here:
[fossileye]


she's got the eye of the world
peeking through the long lavishes
the fossileye is the god of the questionable
the doctrine of the undetermined
we're guiding our own lights
rather than they guiding ours
and our hope is of our own making
and our freedom is our own song.

we are the new generation begun.

43.

[awakening]


2. ...i break free.
then all the horror,
all the blood and the shriveling hope
relax and sleep into dust
and i find a new awakening
to ease the days.

42.

[filth]


1. dragging through the filth
scraping the palm of my hands
tearing skin away from my knees
i drag myself
stumbling through the horrid lies
tearing through the strings of attachment
until...

41.

i smile
unlike i ever have
because i'm getting closer
to being free.

40.

this man looked so tired
slumped over outside of starbucks in a gray track suit
smoking a cigarette
staring at people as they passed.
i wondered
what possibly could make a person
seem so tired and full of exhausted contempt.
and i clicked a picture
to remember this man
and in hopes to remind myself
never to seem so sad.

39.

[bruised]


i swear i didn't mean
for it to feel like this
like every inch of me is bruised
bruised
[jack's mannequin - bruised]

38.

[ignorance]


you're pleading ignorance
but i can see it in your eyes
that it's not lack of knowing
it's just lying.
plain and simple lies
straight
to
my
face.

37.

its something horribly disastrous
tragic like an epilogue
and full of such
ungodly
beauty.

36.

[a post on time? wtf? : P]


Ich liebe dich.
Ich liebe dich nicht.
Ich liebe dich.
Ich liebe dich nicht.
Ich liebe dich.
Ich liebe dich nicht.
Ich liebe dich gar nicht mehr.

aber ich weiß, das ist richtig.
Ich bin glücklich jetzt.
Meine Seele ist frei,
und ich habe nicht bedauert.

35.

[you have 10 seconds. go.]


ten. wait wait i can explain please just give me more time
nine. no no stop please i just see its like this i
eight. okay! okay! stop please i'm sorry i want to try to fix thi
seven. seriously, stop. this isn't funny. i am trying to talk to you and you ju
six. stop! i want to talk about this but i honestly can't explain it in
five. five more seconds, that isn't fair.
[you're procrastinating] four. what the hell is wrong with you? stop!
three. if you'll just give me more time i
two. ...I just want to explain.

if only things were that simple.
one.
time's up.
good bye.

34.

[diseased]


scrounging around for scraps
crunching through the skin
dried up by overexertiondehydrationevaporationexpiration
your soul died long ago
but with nothing left to give, you keep going
wondering what's next
wondering what will make this worth it
after the soul is gone
you find things to pour yourself into
like arts or school or work or
people
and you put everything into them
for there is nothing left of you.

[i hope you find another soul
you're lies are growing thin]

33.

this is ASL for "you don't care."

32.

you're talking, trying to spur conversation
but I don't feel like talking
I reach out my hand
fumbling over excuses, I tell you I don't care
and I pull your arms around me
so we can just rest
in this simple silence
soft and comforting as the blanket you gave me

i hope
this doesn't
end
the way
it started to
not so long ago.
i hope
my hope
isn't as foolish
as it was revealing itself to be
not so long ago.

31.

[again, sorry I was gone all day yesterday]

[btw, this is totally unedited]

I'll never glow the way that you glow
your presence dominates the judgments made on you
but as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
the shades and shadows undulate in my perception
my feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention
to you
you say you understand, but you dont understand
you say you never give up seeing eye to eye
but never is a promise, and you cant afford to lie
[fiona apple-never is a promise]

I know its not my words, but whatever.